On a Sojourn

Now that Parliament is Pandering to the Base

And Congress will soon be canoodling with the Capitalists

I am off on a brief sojourn to work on my book---God help us all.

Fear not--pre-drafted doses will be delivered up at 24hr. intervals.

The Century Mark

********** After ONLY 20 Days this Blog has had 1,000 HITS****************

Is that good---who knows

Half are probably Puffy Putin Political Police

And the other half, the Obama Prism

Gay Genes

Exodus International closes it's doors after decades devoted to reclaiming Christians from the scourge of homosexuality---they finally realized that being Gay is not a life style choice.

Everybody needs gay friends--they're the only ones who really listen--and such a fashion sense

What will Conservative anti-abortions do when the "gay gene" is identified---screen out the queers with abortions--or preserve the "sanctity" of life?

The Birth of Don Quixote

Once upon a time, I felt the call of Nature, and I quietly informed my new substitute teacher.

She responded, saying " You can wait. There are only 10 minutes to recess".

I was dumbfounded. I had followed the prescribed etiquette. In rejecting my request, she had failed to give the proper response.

So like any unjustly rejected 7 year old, I promptly pissed my pants.

Don Quixote was born. It was the first, but it would not be the last time that I pissed in the face of arbitrary authority.

On Sheep

The UK the Royal Horticultural Society has its'  first blooming Chilean puya chilensis.

It has been placed well away from children, since---it is also known as the "sheep eater"

Thanks to its' "one child policy", 230 million Chinese men have no potential partners---Chinese sheep will need to wary of both the "sheep eater" and single men roaming the pastures.

On the Netherlands

Write a book, make a movie, or publish a carton--and get a fatwa in the face

The Nation broadens its ties to Israel and Palestine--now that sure to work out just fine

Don't you love the passionate bonding of fathers and sons over a friendly game of football?--as 6 teenagers and 1 father are jailed for kicking an amateur linesman to death--accuracy is so important when making a call!

On Brasil

Well, at least the Government is giving back that 10 cent bus fare.

OK, OK--I guess the middle class wants to spend some of that Billion $ on health care---and I thought Brazilians were crazy about soccer--oops--football.

What if the Government threw in another Giant Jesus in the harbour?

In the Green Motels

In the Green Motels of America, undocumented female workers are routinely sexually assault--do we need cheap lettuce that badly.

Help the United Farm Workers plough up the " Panty Fields"

Even when men are found to have committed rape, they almost never suffer any legal sanctions.

Andra Afloat

It's too cold to swim in Lake Huron,-- unless you catch the plume from the Douglas Point nuclear reactor.

If the zebra mussels don't get you the Asian carp soon will---at least we aren't entangled in the Eurasian Milfoil  that's strangling Pt Severn.

Oh Yeah--at least the docks at Pt. Severn actually reach the water.

The Alternate Universe Revisited

In an Alternate Universe, Obama would be the head of the NRA ---and he'd be taken out by a drone.

In an Alternate, universe, the leader of the PC Party wouldn't be a Harris clone--he'd be " a fukin' Indian"

Michael Zimmerman would be the leader of the Black Panthers--and he wouldn't shoot unarmed teenagers

Berlusconi wouldn't be a pedophile---he'd be the lead dancer in the high steppin " Nubile Follies"

Let the Games Begin

Sunni football--kicking Shiites to death.

Blowing up Sunnis---Shiite fireworks

Syrian past time---passing gas

On Stereotypes

We should never judge an individual by a stereotypes--but lets not pretend that stereotypes are totally with out merit.

Most mothers  make better parents than most fathers --curtsy of Andra

Most Wasps are more rigid than most Jamaicans

Most white men little rhythm--and they can't jump

Most Russian men enjoy their vodka--and there dead by 57

The Supremos

The US Supremos strike down a provision of the Voting Act which prevented States from discriminating against non-white voters--hurrah--discrimination disappears from all the States of America.

Putin calls US claims to Snowden, "ravings and rubbish"--are Puffy is always so diplomatic

1.05 cents Canadian now buys $1 American--by Thanks Giving it will cost 1.10

Winston Churchill reapplied to Putin

Puffy Putin arrived in his limo--and nobody got out.

Puffy is modest--for he has much to be modest about.

You can count on Puffy to do the right thing--after he tries everything else.

On Members

Does your boss hold meetings to justify his existence by wasting your time?

Why do the members of a meeting have to restate what has already been said, instead of simply saying, "I agree".

The longer and larger a meeting, the smaller the results.

PS
Its not how long the member is. It's how long the member lasts.

Political Hiatus

With Parliament in recess,---can there be any political humour?--thank God for Toronto and Montreal!

Toronto's Police Chief Blair seems to have forgotten how to say, " no comment ".

PS
Has anyone noticed that the Stock Market is imploding?--oh--they're on holidays.

Burial of the Few---Twice

When the US Secretary of Defense asserts that, " We will have less tanks.", instead of "fewer tanks", it is time to put the word  "few" in a box.

While we're at it we might as well bury "twice"--it seems to have been replaced by "two times".

PS
When you're better off at 65, than 25, your society is faltering.

On Roofs

On any given night, in American, there are 1.6 million children who only have the stars above their heads

And they're not camping

The rest of us will soon have white roofs--brought to you by global warming.

On Memory

I forget what I was going to say.

Are you troubled that your husband forgot your birthday?---not to worry--he'll soon forget your name.

With enough hardening of the arteries, you'll soon forget him completely.

Why do our children only remember the bad things we do to them?--perhaps,their grandparents revenge?

Russians Surge

In terms of Blog hits, after a slow start, Russia bolts into third place, ahead of the UK, Germany and the Netherlands.

Probably all coming from the Put Man's Political Police

Or perhaps, Russians prefer this perverted black humour?

Set a New Trend

Don't use mobile devices in public--if you do--stop waving your arms

Drive with courtesy

Have a baby stroller smaller than a Buick

gone till 24th--enjoy your weekend

CONTEST!!!

Soon as I can figure how this site works, there will be a monthly monetary prize for the best comment posted--be it supportive or critical--funny or sad

So please get those comments flowing--this is suppose to be an interactive blog

Thank You

On Drugs

Nicotine is the most destructive and addictive drug in every day use, and there will be more smokers in the world in 50 years--say hello China, India, and Indonesia.

Weed in the 60s could be a path to self discovery. At 5 times the THC level, the weed of the 90s is often a path to oblivion.

Not everyone who uses weed goes onto heroin, but everybody who uses heroin started with weed

To Russia with Love

Has the major Russian export become beautiful young women for dirty old men in the West?

Pussy Riots' music is terrible--but there politics are sweet

In an alternate universe, Putin would be a shy, tall lady--and she would not come into the room cock first.

Agree?  Disagree?

My Russian Friends

My goodness, 21 hits in 1 day from the Motherland

You are most welcome

Please feel free to leave comments for this capitalist pig Blogger

The Left-Overs

My Favourite Chinese Fortune Cookie----Chinese Food causes cancer.

Children are the meaning

With enough medication, anyone can be a comedian.

Vulgarity is for the Vulgar---what the fuk do you think of that?

When the only topics of comversation are house prices and crack, you must be in Toronto.

Lincoln was a Republican poet--today's Republican's are hillbilly rappers

Droning with Obama---roadkill

In Toronto, there are no real estate virgins

Sex Tourism--hiking in India

Sinkholes--God's little joke

If you're hit by shaprnel--you may be running in a marathon

If your "son" is the Ikea monkey, your legal career may falter

But your political career is assured.

Decisions that may effect your life--that snake tatoo on your face.

An Alternate Universe

In an Alternate Universe;

      Sarah Pallin and Michele Bachmann would be dykes--and they'd be smart

      Justin Trudeau would be a lady wrestler--with a bald head

      Conrad Black would be a proud Canadian--and he would speak English

      Stevie Harper would be a union organizer-and he'd be so warm and fussy

      Teabaggers would be Maoists--and they'd care about their fellow Americans.

      John McCain would be a pot-smoking pacifist--and he'd be Mexican

Dose 34

In an alternate universe, Timmy Hudak would be a public civil servant ----and he'd have a smile.

Hispanic voters welded to Democrats as Teabaggers strive to screw up Immigration Reform

The Parliament Hill Speedway---bumper cars for MPs

Status Symbols

Having a Prius to park beside your Land Rover.

Having a stay at home wife and 4 children--preferably 1 adopted out of Africa.

Having a kayak to dock beside your cigarette boat.

Today's PCs

Whose in handcuffs now? Why its the honourable PC candidate for Mt. Royal---what a surprise.

G7+1 urge steps should be taken to combat tax evasion--but they don't actually do anything

Pamella Wallin, asserts, "I throw myself in whole hog."-- PCs snort, Such an unfortunate choice of words.

On Youth Sports

Like a Greek Chorus, the self-anointed organizers come into the room cock first, chanting, " It's all about the kids. It's all about the kids" .

It's always, " Family first, School second, and then Hockey."--but you better not miss a game!

 The Inflated egos are bad enough , but the fraud is far worse.

Green Acres Moments

The lawnmower blade needs sharpening--lets take the entire lawnmower to the store

Putting the boat in reverse just as the boat owner is jumping for the dock

" When was the last time you changed the oil in this lawnmower?  Oh, I thought only cars needed oil changes"

Keeping Score

The mayors of Toronto and Montreal are in a neck and neck race to see can get jailed first

Harper scores a point for his attack on Putin the Puff

Toronto can no longer feel superior to Calgary--thank God we still have Montreal

We could have danced all night

All the World's a Ballroom, and we are the masked marionettes

The greater the insecurity, the more opaque the mask

The greater the self-doubt, the  more ornate the costume

Hello Canada and the USA

would love to have some comments

The End

for now

15 year olds playing hockey--hope the helmets can take a punch

Being slim--the new status symbol

Women take prostitution seriously--Men tend to blow it off

The machinery may seize up--but lust chugs along

On Capitalism

Capitalism is good for creating wealth--it's not good at the distribution of wealth

A true capitalist would want a 100% inheritance tax

Or he would give 100% of his wealth to non-profit, non-political, and non-religious NGOs

Dose 33

A man should want to satisfy his lover as much as he wants to satisfy himself

The only thing worse than unions are Robber Barons

I love Humanity--it's people I can't stand ( Peanuts )

Dose 32

Money does not promise happiness, but Poverty does promise misery

Women can still trade their sexuality for support, but...

Feminism, means they don't have to

Kids

An only child never has a peer

5 year old playing T-ball---squirrels climbing the fence to escape

It's hard to be a father if you never had one

More of that Marriage stuff

Women marry men to change them

Before you propose, take her camping--black flies remove lots of veneer

Men marry women to keep them as they are.

Dose 31

Taking antidepressants can be very depressing

Gain insight--observe how your lover treats her friends, and sales clerks

Taking tranquillizers causes anxiety

Dose 30

Did Michael Spitz get web feet from smoking dope?

Cults are charismatic carnal houses

Giving birth is slightly more painful than writing

Dose 29

Democratically elected governments passed both the Patriot Act and The Act for the Safety of the State and the People.

Bush passed the first--the second was passed by Hitler

Without guns, domestic violence and school yard violence seldom lead to death

Dose 28

Our place in any of society's power pyramids is largely determined by genetics, inherited wealth and geographic accident.

Man can not change his nature, but he can discover it. Thru discovery he can control his nature--rather than letting it control him.

One's discomfort is more amusing than the discomfort of others

Dose 27

In Decor and Fashion, strive for Spartan Elegance--like Liberace

 When making investments, spontaneity is usually a disaster

When society is defined by pyramids, people are conditioned to be obsequious to those above and contemptuous  of those below

Dose 26

Reading to your lover can be as pleasant as reading to you child

Lonliness and Lifestyle are our Killers

Avoid chronic disease--up at dawn, down at dusk

Nominations for the Most Gullible

P.C. Party donors who finance the PMO's slush fund

Ford supporters who believe everything is made up by the "media maggots"

Evangelicals who love their cult leaders

Dose 25

The broken bodies of extremists grease the wheels of Progress

Take 1 Nobel laureate, add 1 Wall St. guru, spinkle on some Greenspan--presto --you have the Long Term Capital bailout--and a harbinger of worse to come

If you are normally the smartest one the room--Do be quiet--nobody wants to know

Dose 24

Growing Income Inequality is not in the best interests of the 1%

Spontaneity in love and travel usually works out.

Arab Sping--the Winter of the Brotherhood

Dose 23

Bureaucratic incompetence comes from having no skin in the game

Our knowledge of our mortality is the foundation of Religion

Nature favours the tall

Dose 22

One Man, One Gun--the myth that haunts America

An only child has no peers and he carries the entire burden of his parents' hopes.

Ignorance is bliss, but by the time you  out, it is too late

Dose 21

Arranged Marriage--the pedophile Paradise

Process is as important as product

Acceptance of others is the foundation of Justice

Dose 20

My God, Rumsfeldt was right--a standing work station beats a desk

Only zealots, economists, and mystics dare predict the future

As long as society consists of pyramids, it will consist primarily of "losers"

Dose 19

The avarice of the 1% is beyond redemption.

Lobbying paralyzes and pollutes Democracy.

The remedy for 6 day work week and child labour was the Union Movement

Dose 18

Harper loves transparency when it only applies to others

Seeking perfection causes imperfection

Travel creates tolerance.

Dose 17

Corporations are not entities with Constitutional or Civil Rights

Interracial Marriage--some hope for mankind

Religion is based upon misogyny

Dose 16

Decisions should never be based on Fear

If White Collar Criminals were given the same treatment as petty thieves, there would be more justice in the world

Corporations pervert Democracy

Dose 15

Parochial schools are divisive.

 Lawyers are the pallbearers of other peoples'  problems.

Condoms are marginally better than STDs

Dose 14

Politicians are dangerous when they hear the voice of God

Sharia Law is not the Family Law Act

If you believe in an After Life you could happily destroy the world

Dose 13

Global Warming may be managed, but it will not be stopped

There is more CO2 in the oceans than in the atmosphere

The greatest threat of warming----the melting of the Tundra.

Dose 12

Is it better to be someone who gets things done, or someone who does things?

Say goodbye to cursive writing, desktop computers, seafood, land lines, books, workplaces, class rooms, DVDs, and burial plots.

To truly learn something--teach it--20 minutes at a time

On Death

There is no right to life, but there is a right to death

Without fear, greet Death as an old friend--its not like your going anywhere

Death, Nature's Executioner

An agnostic is an atheist who hopes he's wrong

Death cleanses Nature's palate

Believing in an infinite God is no more irrational than believing in an infinite Universe--but it generates so much more  blood and hatred.

Being an agnostic is like sitting on a very Sharp fence--which gets sharper as we get older.

We can torture the language of any Creation Myth so that it conforms to Evolution

As the whisper of the Death Rattle approaches, it may create the last and brightest star

When the love of learning goes, it's time to shuffle off.

Death--a cure for youth unemployment and environmental degradation

It really is ashes to ashes, dust to dust

Environmentalists  love cremation--but they're torn up about the smoke

Passing By

Do you hear something sizzling, ---it smells like Turkey--yum

I hear "Santa Monica Boulevard" playing--but, do take cover!--the NRA is so inspirational.

Labour saving devices will kill us--unless television does it first

Prism Strikes

Internet Porn Industry collapses.

Edward Snowden--Patriot?

Resurgence in both family life and prostitution attributed to Prism.

On Mediation

The purpose of mediation is not to get a settlement--it is to get a just settlement.

To be impartial and effective, mediators must suppress their personal feelings--this may hurt their personal relationships where the expression of emotion is critical.

Mediators must avoid over controlling simply to get to "yes"

Mediation should precede, but not prohibit, litigation.

Mediation involves an imbalance of power between clients and the Mediator must address this imbalance without alienating the dominant party.

The Perfect Husband

Is a man, not a woman, but he..

Is attentive and sincere toward you and your children

Listens first and only tries to "solve" the problem when asked.

Is an independent person, but also a true partner.

Never goes to bed angry

Knows that arguments require a 20 minute time out

Knows you are in charge of the decorating

Is never violent.

Fights fair and does not become withholding

Does not give up on intimacy--even if his plumbing is off line.

The Urban Landscape

Increasingly, smart people will use smart cards to use smart cars to travel on smart roads.--say that fast 5 times

Forests are man's cathedrals--bring them to the cities

For the relief of depression, walk alone in the woods.

Exercise should not be a special event, but part of daily urban life

Living in nature is the closest we can get to the mythical heaven

The keys to unlock the Human Spirit are the night sky, tress, music, and a baby at rest

Make $, build an open air mall in the woods on transit, with peripheral parking and electric golf carts.

Feeling disconnected from modern society and its urban landscape is a natural and appropriate reaction.

Urban nodes can recreate the extended family.

Living space for the old, the young and everyone in between can be integrated into the same location

Increasingly. people will live in dense self contained urban nodes where the emphasis will  be on integration, digitization, mass transit, electrical vehicles and green spaces.

Car ownership will decrease and will access rental vehicles for special purpose trips.

Roads will be digitalized and many will be reversed to bring goods into the city at night

Architects and urban planners will learn not to treat the environment as a blank slate.

Trades people will be given free accomodation simply to ensure that they will be avaiable in specifis urban nodes.

As the open city increasingly becomes our living, dining, family and exercise rooms, people will live in smaller and smaller spaces devoted primarily to sleeping and other private activities.

On line shopping will make up the bulk of our retail shopping.

Pitched roof will be white to reduce nocturnal radiation.

Flat roofs will be roof gardens and energy sources

Building lights will go off at night.

The Earth isn't getting hotter--it's just poor circulation

Stop Whining Already

Although, I prefer to spread things around, people keep whining for more economic splashes. So here's 1 big wave

1. Pay off debt before anything else.

2. Never borrow $, except for education or a house.

3. Be an investor, not a trader--an occasional buyer--not a seller.

4. Use an on-line discount broker--not a full service broker

5. Brokers are salesman, not analysts.

6. Minimize fees

7.In the market, perception is reality

8. Maximizing Education, maximizes income

9. Government jobs give generally lower wages, but far better benefits than the private sector

10 Try to save 20% of your net income to pay down debt and invest.

11. First-get a TFSA, then buy a house and pay down Mortgage.--and look up new words you may not know.

12. Get mortgages with weekly, not monthly payments

13. Buy disability, term, replacement cost property and vehicle insurance.

14. Don't buy whole life or appliance repair insurance.

15. Use DRIPs

16. Buy ETFs, Never Mutual Funds

17. Active trading and, speculation are strictly for "insiders" and pros

18. Don't buy options, currencies, airlines, airline, television or desk-top computer manufactures.

19  Don't buy companies who provide goods and services where their prices are regulated by government.

20. Buy ETFs--not individual stocks

21 Buy "vanilla" ETFs that actually hold stocks, rather than options.

22 Have 1 credit card that collects dividend rather than Aeromiles, and pay it off automatically each month.

23. Economics is called the"dismal science", because it pretends that it is a science.

24. Don't follow the herd.

25. If it sounds to good to be true, it probably is.

25. Buy houses and ATVs in Dec.: electronics, appliances and dress clothes in Jan,: cars, winter clothes and snowmobiles in March, and buy summer clothes, and boats in Aug.

26. Never buy a new car--buy used with an extended warranty, give it regular maintenance and drive forever.

27 In investing your asset allocation is more important than your specific holdings.

28.After age 50,  the % of your total total assets ( excl.real estate) that are in fixed assets should=your age, and the balance of your total should be blue chip growth stocks, EFFs..

29. Buy Canada, USA, India and Brazil.

30 Only invest indirectly in China.

31 Buy stocks in agriculture, water, leisure, on-line retailers, artificial hips.

32. In terms of taxes, a principal residence is best, then dividends and then interest income--unless its in a "sheltered" account.

33.50% of stock returns come from dividends.
 
34. There are no guarantees in life--or the market.

35. Generally, look at your investments just once a quarter--instead live your life.

Type Bs

Live in the present and are patient--but, they can't find their socks

Are happy, charming and spontaneous----but, they are late and never do laundry

Are creative, and do things eventually---but they are chaotic and forget to pay the rent

Blog, Blog

Avoid opinions that become tirades.

A new tool for the mental health profession---client blogging.

Strive to soften the preaching with humour.

On Stage

All the World's a Stage--if only we knew our lines.

In the role of drivers--why do we have to be psychopaths?

Why is our final role the demented?

Magical Thinking

Brings peace of mind

Creates 'God' as the answer to our mortally

Gives us Creationism--the denial of Science.

Zoomer Best Sellers

Sex After Prostrate Cancer

Living with Replacement Parts

Time Consuming Stationary Hobbies to enrich your Urinating Experience.

On Voting

When less than 20% of the City's voters actually vote we get the Ford brothers.

When less than 60% of Canada votes we get the Harperites

Perhaps we should be like the Aussies and levy fines on non-voters.--hmm perhaps the results would be worse

Today's Questions

Will South African democracy survive the passing of Nelson Mandela?

This is your overseas operator, can you please hold for Peter McKay?

Why does it matter if the Government has the same info as the phone company---Oh they're the ones who can put you in jail?

Little Jewels

Women collect shoes---men collect guns.

Men acquire muscular power tools and women collect little jewel-like purses.

And one wonders why women are the creators of civilization?

A Plague of Break Ins

Sadly, Premier McGuinty's office was burglarized and his emails opposing paying hundreds of millions to cancel gas plants disappeared.

EXTRA--Robo calls traced to theft of P.C. voter lists ( N.D.P. suspected )

PMO Office suffers with disappearance of Nigel Wright--Duff charitable communications.

Universal Truths (part 1)

If your career does not pale in significance beside your family and friends--you may need a new career.

Bliss lies in the arms of your lover.

Compassion and empathy are never amiss.

Tap, Tap, Tap

Tapping by Bush becomes tapping by Obama, becomes tapping by Harper, becomes tapping by Teabaggers?

Tapping by Harper only applies to "international communications", and clearly Canadians are too parochial to be effected.

Fortunately, Canadians have no rights to privacy and the 4th Amendment is clearly obsolete.

Rationalizations

Water boarders fancy themselves as Patriots

Ethnic Cleansers see themselves as defending the purity of the Blood.

With magical thinking the purchaser of a teenage hooker does not think he is guilty of sexual assault when he goes home to sleep with his wife, and  to kiss his daughters good night.

The Exorcist

To eradicate the previous woman, a man must be stripped of his possessions.

Her merest touch must be banished with a new wardrobe.

Such a man is now suitable for re-branding.

A Beautiful Mind

Even a beautiful mind cannot overcome the voices of mental illness.

The eldest child always carries the greatest burden and the youngest can only struggle to catch up.

When the whisper of the Death Rattle grows louder, we can not be our brother's keeper.

On Gladiators

Professional athletes are our surrogate Warriors and the teams are our clans

Did Doping Ball ever go away?--thank God the NFL is still drug free

Why does domestic violence increase when the Super Bowl is televised.

Accelerate that Struggle

Obesity is 80% genetic and 20% Depression

Award driving points for running over fat kids

Now that we have established that fatties are moral degenerates, they should be publically shunned.

On Judges

Jacksonian Democracy produces elected judges and prosecutors who seek convictions instead of Justice.

The death penalty kills too much innocence.

Perhaps one should believe in this system of Justice with great confidence, and fading optimism.

The Core of America

  The Core of America is strong

 The Core of America does not consist of the gun tottin', racist tea baggers.

 Being a victim like the tea baggers and the converts to Islam, is so seductive.

Struggle On

Will Television normalize obesity?

Now that smokers have been demonized for kindly killing themselves, surely it is time to root the degenerate fatties.

American haute cuisine--obesity in a bucket.

UP the Consumer

Enjoy Bangladesh Fashion--just blow off the dust--I say is that brain matter?

Chinese toys make excellent fire crackers.

60% of Americans get their clothing from Walmart--I can hardly wait for that in Kensington Market

Parental Prattle

Parents want their kids to have what they missed.-- so they often deny them the beneficial experiences of their own childhood.

"Because, I said so"  is nice and authoritarian--but not very effective.

All teenagers have the brains of  psychopaths.  

Raging On

Tilting at windmills is the epitome of OCD rage.

The injustices are very real, and the world benefits from Don Quixote,-- but the personal cost is very high.

Rage can rob one of effectiveness.

Tilting at Windmills

As tempting as it may be , opposing arbitrary authority is unproductive--the crossing guard always wins.

Pity the petty tyrants--they waltz with their insecurity

Save your energies to struggle with the truly destructive despots you will probably never encounter.

On Canadians

We compete to see who can say sorry the fastest.

Americans stonewall while Canadians rag the puck.

Different coffee shops are a reflection of the Canadian class system.

On Blogging

Blogging is for lunatics and shut-ins.

Bloggers don't read Blogs--they're too busy Blogging.

Is Blogging merely public defecation to amuse a perverted audience?

A Salute to the Military

Even with a professional cadre, an Army of multi-tour hillbillies and poor urban minorities cannot be the National line of Defence.

Join the Army--and enjoy sexual assaults.

PSTD brings a new army of prisoners and the homeless.

On Injustice

When victims become perpetrators, they must be treated and controlled, --not punished.

Justice is not colour blind.

Mental illness does not exonerate one from guilt--only from punishment

Marriage--this guy must be whipped

Do men deliberately mess up domestic chores so they will never be asked to do them again?

Are men that devious or merely incompetent

When your wife throws the vegetables ---you may be having a domestic dispute

Parental Love

Despite all their love and involvement neurotic parents may be too distracted to be effective parents.

If you wait to get your stuff together before having children. you may be waiting forever

Bliss is holding your sleeping child.

Art as Life

Isn't the Veep a reality show?

Isn't Tyrion Lannister the biggest man in the Kingdom?

Does Assad command The Walking Dead?

Presidential Perogatives

Hello, This is Verizon calling--a Division of the Justice Department

If you have an absurd Tax loophole, "baggers" have as much right to drive thru as the commie-pinko fascists.

All Presidents love to increase and exercise power.

Whole Foods

I was picking Franken Corn out of my teeth--and they fell out.

Wonderful! The % of rat feces allowed in hot dogs has been increased.

Brought to you by Coke, bottled water, obesity and the World Wildlife Fund.

On Marriage--Again

Do a gay couple keep their toilet seats down?  

You are in love if you would give your life to save someone.  

Saving drowning people isn't usually love.

On Marriage

When most people in your house are male, isn't it more efficient to keep the seats up?

You often marry 2 strangers—him and yourself.

You know you’re married when you hear, “He’ll have the salmon”.    

Oppressive Time

The perpetual "to do list"--like gerbils on the wheel.

No time to make love--or a sandwich.

No time to exercise--or to make that chocolate cake.

How the West was Won

To Colonel Custard, Indians were, "red niggers".

The glory of the Indian Wars--rape and genocide.

General Sherman offered what he termed , "the final solution"--obliterate the Buffalo and you obliterate the Indians.

Is the Pope Catholic?

Pope Frank is a Maoist.

But , he still dose the Papal Pedophile Shuffle

Dogma makes one dogmatic.

On Justice

Ah,  a carjacker-- that will be 20 years without parole

Let's throw the book at that white collar criminal---give him the max--probation

Only the poor and minorities end up on death row

Reflections

Some people have been overdosing

Now go back and reread all the previous postings

Speed is not desirable in  making love or reading this blog

On Giving

Many religious people are generous and tolerant

Many religious people aren't.

There is cause to pause.

On Time

The Sands of Time cannot be replenished.

Time pressures of life: Time to pick up those meds, to pick up those kids, to get that colonoscopy , to take that dump, and to take those meds.

Taking time out to die.

The Sexual Post-- one of many.

Now that Michael Douglas has attributed his oral cancer to oral sex,--there is left nothing to lick.

Sex can be rough or gentle as long as it is in the pursuit of mutual love--and there is no video.

So what disease did Michael give to Catherine?

On the Lighter Side

5 year olds at hockey school," Excuse me, excuse me-- that's my puck"

Post-funeral sex is a reaffirmation of Life---even if it's not with the Deceased.

5 year olds playing soccer--- the intense study of dandelions.

The Fords just keep on giving

Mayor Ford's not stoned in the picture, he's just having a post pizza blood rush.

For the benefit of the entire city, Doug Ford honed his financial acumen on the mean streets of Etobicoke.

In an alternate universe, Obama would be the wife of a Christian militiaman and--- he'd be black.

The Nature of Hounds

We Hounds are 60% genetic, 10% nurture, 20% experience and 10% free will.

Alpha dogs bay at the imperfect moon.

Beta dogs barely perceive the moonlight.

On the Human condition

Alpha's are self-loathing, critical perfectionists who are rigid, impatient, cerebral, goal orientated and self-destructive---and occasionally verbose.

Beta's aren't.

People are a continuum, not a condition.

On a Sunday, a little Religion?

If you must have a religion, be a Quaker.

When your "God" lives on a distant planet, you've got yourself a cult.

Man has a  spirit, but it's not immortal

By Popular Paranoia a Splash of Psychology

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder---the imperfect pursuit of perfection.

O.C.D.-you can count on it, count on it, count on it, count....

O.C.D-good for the world, bad for the individual.

ON OBAMA

Droning on with Obama can be bad for your health.

Seeking compromise with extremists--Obama's strength and his weakness.

Obama pursues democratic ends with imperial means.

PITY the CHILD and the MAN

Rage comes from Self-Loathing

Self Loathing comes from fear of Rejection

Fear of Rejection comes from rejection in childhood

DOSE 11

31. Priorities:  a TFSA, a house and discharging the Mortgage 32. Education is not about content, it’s about process. 33 Rejoice, Romney arises to lead the 49% away from dependency.

DOSE 1O

By Popular hysteria, there will be a sprinkling of economic insights. 25. In the market, perception is reality. 26 Perhaps, the Globe and Mail needs a picture of Rob Ford with a dead hooker, or a live boy 27. Fight obesity—run over a fat kid.

DOSE 9

Winston Churchill acknowledged the Black Dog of Depression that shadowed his OCD.

Winnie--orator ,  artist. warrior--and a great smoky drunk

His Black Dog was most assuredly not a pet.

DOSAGE 8

22. Doug and Rob Ford just burnt all the emails that mention that “ridiculous” video. 23. PC use to mean our political correctness, now it means our prostate cancer 24. According to the “lick spittle media”, Harper has dumped the Duff and the Wall.

POST 7

19. Now that Arthur Porter is been extradited back to Canada, he can replace Duffy, as Harper’s bag man. 20. Why do we retirees start every occasion with an organ recital? 21. If you bring home the bacon, you are probably a woman

DOSE 6

Education is a prism that focuses Experience. 16. Morgentaler--Freedom Fighter. 17. In an alternate universe Rob and Doug Ford would be petite, gay, Toronto Star reporters-- and their clothes would fit. 18. Did you hear---- The Nigel Wright Charitable Foundation purchased that pesky video—but they had to revoke the $90,000 for Senator Duffy

DOSE 5

In a sea of cynicism, it is hard to remember that many people strive to do the right thing. 13. No one under 30 should be allowed to blog. 14. Conservatives never met scientific research they could not suppress. 15. They never met a rise in “unreported” crime they could not punish.

DOSE 4

Experience is the light that illuminates formal Education 10. EXTRA, EXTRA—“Media maggots” feed on meaty, Fordian flesh. 11 Empower a woman and you liberate a man 12. The Ottawa Marathon: Senators dashing for the trough

DOSE 3

Dosage 3 Due to a deficit in talent and a surplus of slough, these offerings are random and unedited. 7. Oppose but don’t hate Rob Ford, he already hates himself. 8. Since he has the few brains available, Doug is more deserving of condemnation. 9. Ford Nation; our own little Tea baggers.

DOSE 2

Dosage 2 From the pen of that well known seer Richard Woods 3. American Senators lick lobbyists: Canadian Senators get licked by lobbyists 4. American Senators want to retire as lobbyists: Canadian Senators have already retired 5. Collecting Graduate degrees may be a sign of my insecurity

DOSE 1

Dosage 1- 5/24/2013 Howlings from the Hounds’ Asylum Not to exceed a daily dosage of 3 1. Republicans love children until they are born and soldiers until they come home. 2. Mulroney wanted to be an American, Harper wants us all to be Americans 3. It’s not a human tragedy unless it provokes comedy.

INTENTION

INTENTION These comments are intended purely for amusement.

They are the satirical and philosophical excretions from the fevered and fertile mind of Professor Richard Woods. An unknown barrister, solicitor, economist, city planner (Boring).

 They are intended as fair comment directed toward public figures, the human condition, and the world at large. These comments are not presented as facts.

Your daily dosage should not exceed 3 gems, but to truly understand the jewelry, you are advised to read pages 161 to 163; The Inmates, On Dr. Spock: On the Lizard; and On the Child.